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amanda bokky*
`ngee ann poly
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`year one
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Saturday, July 15, 2006

"if i were her, i wouldn't do this"

i was really hurt when i knew you said that about me, and i wanted to cry right then and there in the coffeeshop.

why do you think of me like that? it hurts, you know.

am i wrong to encourage a brother by sending him a bible verse?
am i wrong to want to joke about five birds?
am i wrong to let him shop with me?
am i wrong to accept his phone call?
am i wrong to let him tag my blog?
am i wrong leave a comment on his blog?
am i wrong to ask him for help?

so if you think i'm so wrong, then why don't you just tell me straight in my face? i'd rather you did that than avoid me, really.

i have nothing to hide, neither did i hide anything from you, so why are you hiding from me?

you know, as hurt as i am, i'm just about ready to leave this all behind and move on. and you? i just don't want you to be left behind.

but if you keep avoiding me, nothing's gonna change, and nothing's going to get better.

oh, and one thing you must know. i never blamed you for being emotional, for blaming me. and i still love you just as much.

and no, i'm not saying this so that everyone will think i'm a saint, cos who cares what everyone thinks anyway. i just wanted you to know.

so, i've said all i need to. (:

and tomorrow, i will give you a hug if i see you. Jesus loves me.

/ long hot summer ;